With so many things going on, how do you organize your days/weeks?
I have a lot of things I'm hoping to work on in the new year and I'm really concerned about giving everything the attention it requires and not flitting between projects and half-assing them all.
Hi—I’m going to be a bit all over the place in the first part of the New Year too—I’ll be Blueprinting a new project with everyone, taking notes on 2 additional projects and also working to expand our #amwriting community (and studying hard for a fully Spanish trip to Mexico to learn more about their current political, social and art scenes, and working to regain my French, because I have weird hobbies). I look ahead at the month loosely and the week more closely. I fill in immovable items on a calendar and then build other chunks of time around them to do the other things, recognizing the days that will have a lot of family obligations or distractions and trying to build in time before those hit so they won’t bother me as much, or so whatever I plan for that day is possible, and because I know I’ll do it this way, I often try to create immovable chunks around my priorities. (Writing dates. Discussion meetings with Jennie about the blueprint. Live language lessons. Deadlines to give out valiant assistant podcast related things.) Even with older kids it remains complicated!
I adore this question, and we have come at this every which way over the years through our goals, productivity software, tools, etc. We are always looking for solutions that fit our lives and preferences best and try to podcast about them when we find soemthing that works. Now, to answer: when I'm full-on toward a hard deadline, I am a unitasker. I write until my brain gives out every day, and that's a privilege, I get it. This is my main job, and I'm best in a stretch, not when attempting to fit things in between other things. When I'm traveling for speaking, I have to schedule the chunks. We like to talk about "chunks" rather than words or hours. I think KJ came up with it, maybe she borrowed it, I'm not sure. Chunks of at least 2h are best for me and it so happens that flights and airport time are perfect for scoring those elusive "travel stickers." Stickers, in the #AmWriting parlance are our self-imposed reward system for getting the work done, and that can mean word count, hours, pages, whatever we decide. Schedule the time and respect your schedule. Give it the professionalism and respect it deserves - and give the unscheduled the time the respect it deserves, too!
Oh, another great one, and there's no clear-cut answer. My editor used to NOT ask people who were cited or might otherwise feel obligated to blurb (for example, my former Harper editor also edited another writer I mention in the book so we did not ask her on my first book for that reason). OTOH, one writer I did ask got pissed off that I asked her to blurb when I did NOT include her in my first book (she wrote secondary sources and I mostly quoted primary sources). Consensus I've read and heard is that It's fine to ask someone to blurb who is in the book too. This is a personal style/ethics question.
Agents say they’re overwhelmed. Writers are vexed, waiting to hear from overburdened agents. Is there not a more efficient way to honor everyone’s time and make the right connections?
Yes…querying and pitching. Is it more useful to give mini-pitches at conferences…have someone make an introduction…reading people’s laments, the current system seems hard for everyone.
The current system IS hard for everyone. I'm still a fan of being as specific in your approach as possible, meaning find the agents who agent authors you admire and who rep books you aspire to write. Work really hard at getting an agent because getting an editor is a nightmare without an agent. Slush piles are tall and contract clauses can be cruel. If you plan to self-publish, do your research deeply and widely and listen to all the episodes with Sarina Bowen, our resident indie pub expert. It's all hard. My story of getting an agent and a book deal is linked below, in three parts.
Fantastic question. I adored my first event in the UAE because I'm so used to hearing about parenting here in the U.S. that it was a revelation to hear about parenting in France, Egypt, Abu Dhabi, Botswana and Australia. I listened to talks being interpreted from Arabic and was simultaneously translated into Arabic, I talked to people about social issues in other countries that I'd never contemplated - for example, I learned that a big problem in the UAE is living in intergenerational households where the kids often don't speak (or understand) the same language of their grandparents due to the rapid cultural change there. I also loved speaking at the big international Montessori conference despite having very little voice because it was something like 6k MONTESSORI TEACHERS. My people. I love AMLE (the Association of Middle Level Educators) for the same reason. Middle school teachers are people I understand deep in my bones, people I look up to and trust and want to be useful to. I owe them so much. What else....being the closing keynote at SXSWEDU was a kick in the pants, a real high point for me, as was being the opening keynote at the American Camp Association (CAMP PEOPLE, come on now) national conference. But I also love the small ones. I speak regularly at Canyon Ranch in Lenox to groups of ten, which is a real gift as I can tailor my talks to what they want and need. I don't know. I guess I just love my job. 🙂
I love love love this question. A long time ago, I was asked to give the graduation speech for the class I'd taught at Rowland Hall/St. Mark's School in Salt Lake City. I read off notes and every part of it felt awful. I was disconnected from the audience in a really uncomfortable way and I owed these kids more. I was just so SCARED of the podium but in reality, I was just teaching these kids once again, albeit on a larger stage. From that day on, I have sworn off notes. I don't even take my phone on stage with me unless I need a timer because there's no phone in the room (who designs auditoriums without clocks? lots of people). I also don't use slides, mainly because I like to distinguish myself from academic speakers who rely on slides and tend to be...well, boring. My speaking events have a narrative arc, something you could plot on a Freytag pyramid. I'm storytelling while weaving research into the telling, and I just can't be fully present with notes. I've also been doing this for over ten years now, and I have a memory bank of talks, and I can pivot as needed. I can feel it if I'm losing the audience or if they want something more on a topic, and I react according to that. That said, I try ONE NEW THING every talk. That way, if it falls flat, it's one moment, not the whole talk. If it works, I keep it in the bank. When I create new material wholecloth, I rehearse like crazy. The problem with adhering to what you've rehearsed, however, is the audience is a massive wild card. I was in Abu Dhabi speaking on a SERIOUS TOPIC to SERIOUS ADULTS but when I walked out on stage, there were tons of kids in the audience, kids who were about to perform in the conference finale. I could not stick with the thing I'd worked so hard to perfect, I had to address the kids. The entire conference was ABOUT intentional parenting and early childhood development. to perform what I'd prepared would have been to ignore my audience, something I just can't do as a writer or a performer. In the end, the serious people who so intimidated me with their academic papers and academic slides and academic cred gushed about my pivot and said, "I could never do that!" and thanked me for the pivot. So short answer, no. No notes. Make it look easy by working your ass off before the event.
My debut memoir is set to pub at the end of this year. I have three small children (including a baby), but I have about 15-20 hours/week of childcare to devote to planning for book launch/book promo. With limited (but focused) time, what would you funnel your energy into throughout the year?
I was in a similar situation at the end of law school. I had an infant and traded childcare with my friend who had three girls because we both needed part-time care. Could not have done it without her. It allowed me to become more focused and directed because if I had an hour of time, I had ONE HOUR of time. My mother would fly to town to take long walks with the baby so I could squeeze in whatever studying I could. Remember to be fully present with the work when you are working and be fully present as a parent when you are parenting. As for the launch/promo question, get focused on the high-reward targets and don't bother to waste time on the lower value ones. As Sarina likes to ask me, "what's your ROI (return on investment) for that time (or money)?" PR boxes may sound like a great idea in isolation (dump $ into launch), but unless they fall in the right hands (investment in relationships) they are useless. And even when they DO fall into the right hands, they are not a great way to spend your valuable time and money. Not knowing what you are releasing, I'm going to say book bloggers/influencers (if it's fiction) are important relationships to cultivate, as are booksellers. If nonfiction, booksellers and any orgs academically related to the topic. Sarina is the queen of promotion and marketing where fiction is concerned, so look for episodes on that. I will look for and link a few in reply to this comment. Congratulations on the tiny humans and the book and good luck!
How do you get past promotion fatigue? I know people need to see things 9 times until they are in the marketing funnel or whatever but while I like promoting myself, it does get old.
In regard to taking an idea to a fleshed out story, the blueprint for success asks about the obstacles in the protagonist’s way. What if I only know her ultimate goal such as knowing her worth, and that she needs to revive a small town theater, for example.
How does one go about figuring out obstacles? I don’t know what is going to happen yet, so I feel like I have to do what the blueprint is trying to avoid in the first place: write until I see something form.
Hi Deanna, it's Jennie Nash. This is a good question, but it's not a simple one. It's a deep philosophical one about the creative process. What you are really asking is WHEN and HOW should I figure out these core elements about my story.? You have a protagonist who wants something. That's step 1. So YAY YOU!. And you KNOW that your protagonist NEEDS to have obstacles in her way to save this theater... otherwise, it's just a bunch of things that happen and that won't engage the reader. And what you are saying is that you want to write your way to the answers about the obstacles. You want to combine the writing and the strategic thinking about the story. -- to do two things at once. And the thing is that you certainly COULD do this. But odds are very good that it will take a ton of time and cost you a whole lot of agony. This is the exact situation the Blueprint is designed to help you avoid. So you can guess my answer: it's to dig in and figure out those obstacles!!! Figure out the story. Figure out what it is about this protagonist (her background, the environment, her character, the reasons that she doesn't know or believe her worth, the reasons she has things she needs to overcome to get what she wants.) Your story is CLAY right now and you get to PLAY -- to try things out, to see what connects. It's fun and it's hard and it's just TEN WEEKS (if you are doing our Challenge which I hope you are) -- which is WAY better than spending a year or more writing a whole manuscript that may or may not work. I hope that helps!
And on that note, get yourself some accountability buddies. As I count all the things and people I'm grateful for this New Year's Eve, my core group of writing buddies - Jennie, KJ, Sarina and a few others who know who they are- are at the top of my gratitude list.
You’re the only one who can decide to give this a shot! This is what I like to say to people who are resisting an approach (and I am the QUEEN of resisters, I argue with everything)—is what you’re doing now working? Are you getting where you want to be, whether that’s a full draft or a lot of fun starts or a query-able project or whatever? If so, carry on! If not… maybe it’s time to commit to trying something different.
With so many things going on, how do you organize your days/weeks?
I have a lot of things I'm hoping to work on in the new year and I'm really concerned about giving everything the attention it requires and not flitting between projects and half-assing them all.
Hi—I’m going to be a bit all over the place in the first part of the New Year too—I’ll be Blueprinting a new project with everyone, taking notes on 2 additional projects and also working to expand our #amwriting community (and studying hard for a fully Spanish trip to Mexico to learn more about their current political, social and art scenes, and working to regain my French, because I have weird hobbies). I look ahead at the month loosely and the week more closely. I fill in immovable items on a calendar and then build other chunks of time around them to do the other things, recognizing the days that will have a lot of family obligations or distractions and trying to build in time before those hit so they won’t bother me as much, or so whatever I plan for that day is possible, and because I know I’ll do it this way, I often try to create immovable chunks around my priorities. (Writing dates. Discussion meetings with Jennie about the blueprint. Live language lessons. Deadlines to give out valiant assistant podcast related things.) Even with older kids it remains complicated!
I adore this question, and we have come at this every which way over the years through our goals, productivity software, tools, etc. We are always looking for solutions that fit our lives and preferences best and try to podcast about them when we find soemthing that works. Now, to answer: when I'm full-on toward a hard deadline, I am a unitasker. I write until my brain gives out every day, and that's a privilege, I get it. This is my main job, and I'm best in a stretch, not when attempting to fit things in between other things. When I'm traveling for speaking, I have to schedule the chunks. We like to talk about "chunks" rather than words or hours. I think KJ came up with it, maybe she borrowed it, I'm not sure. Chunks of at least 2h are best for me and it so happens that flights and airport time are perfect for scoring those elusive "travel stickers." Stickers, in the #AmWriting parlance are our self-imposed reward system for getting the work done, and that can mean word count, hours, pages, whatever we decide. Schedule the time and respect your schedule. Give it the professionalism and respect it deserves - and give the unscheduled the time the respect it deserves, too!
That’s a very interesting question.
What do you think about asking people for book blurbs if they are quoted or cited in the book? Is that a total etiquette error, or is it fine?
Oh, another great one, and there's no clear-cut answer. My editor used to NOT ask people who were cited or might otherwise feel obligated to blurb (for example, my former Harper editor also edited another writer I mention in the book so we did not ask her on my first book for that reason). OTOH, one writer I did ask got pissed off that I asked her to blurb when I did NOT include her in my first book (she wrote secondary sources and I mostly quoted primary sources). Consensus I've read and heard is that It's fine to ask someone to blurb who is in the book too. This is a personal style/ethics question.
Thank you - Really appreciate this perspective!
I've heard people insist both answers are the only right answer, so do with this what you will. :)
Agents say they’re overwhelmed. Writers are vexed, waiting to hear from overburdened agents. Is there not a more efficient way to honor everyone’s time and make the right connections?
Could you elaborate on "make the right connections?" You mean querying, pitching, and proposing?
Yes…querying and pitching. Is it more useful to give mini-pitches at conferences…have someone make an introduction…reading people’s laments, the current system seems hard for everyone.
The current system IS hard for everyone. I'm still a fan of being as specific in your approach as possible, meaning find the agents who agent authors you admire and who rep books you aspire to write. Work really hard at getting an agent because getting an editor is a nightmare without an agent. Slush piles are tall and contract clauses can be cruel. If you plan to self-publish, do your research deeply and widely and listen to all the episodes with Sarina Bowen, our resident indie pub expert. It's all hard. My story of getting an agent and a book deal is linked below, in three parts.
https://www.jessicalahey.com/comingofageinthemiddle/2013/04/when-opportunity-knocks-anatomy-of_14.html
https://www.jessicalahey.com/comingofageinthemiddle/2013/04/when-opportunity-knocks-anatomy-of.html
https://www.jessicalahey.com/comingofageinthemiddle/2013/02/why-parents-need-to-let-their-children.html
From Facebook: Hi!! Where has been your very favorite place to speak and why was it your favorite?
Fantastic question. I adored my first event in the UAE because I'm so used to hearing about parenting here in the U.S. that it was a revelation to hear about parenting in France, Egypt, Abu Dhabi, Botswana and Australia. I listened to talks being interpreted from Arabic and was simultaneously translated into Arabic, I talked to people about social issues in other countries that I'd never contemplated - for example, I learned that a big problem in the UAE is living in intergenerational households where the kids often don't speak (or understand) the same language of their grandparents due to the rapid cultural change there. I also loved speaking at the big international Montessori conference despite having very little voice because it was something like 6k MONTESSORI TEACHERS. My people. I love AMLE (the Association of Middle Level Educators) for the same reason. Middle school teachers are people I understand deep in my bones, people I look up to and trust and want to be useful to. I owe them so much. What else....being the closing keynote at SXSWEDU was a kick in the pants, a real high point for me, as was being the opening keynote at the American Camp Association (CAMP PEOPLE, come on now) national conference. But I also love the small ones. I speak regularly at Canyon Ranch in Lenox to groups of ten, which is a real gift as I can tailor my talks to what they want and need. I don't know. I guess I just love my job. 🙂
CAMP PEOPLE are THE BEST!
Do you use notes during speaking gigs? An outline? I have always wondered. :)
I love love love this question. A long time ago, I was asked to give the graduation speech for the class I'd taught at Rowland Hall/St. Mark's School in Salt Lake City. I read off notes and every part of it felt awful. I was disconnected from the audience in a really uncomfortable way and I owed these kids more. I was just so SCARED of the podium but in reality, I was just teaching these kids once again, albeit on a larger stage. From that day on, I have sworn off notes. I don't even take my phone on stage with me unless I need a timer because there's no phone in the room (who designs auditoriums without clocks? lots of people). I also don't use slides, mainly because I like to distinguish myself from academic speakers who rely on slides and tend to be...well, boring. My speaking events have a narrative arc, something you could plot on a Freytag pyramid. I'm storytelling while weaving research into the telling, and I just can't be fully present with notes. I've also been doing this for over ten years now, and I have a memory bank of talks, and I can pivot as needed. I can feel it if I'm losing the audience or if they want something more on a topic, and I react according to that. That said, I try ONE NEW THING every talk. That way, if it falls flat, it's one moment, not the whole talk. If it works, I keep it in the bank. When I create new material wholecloth, I rehearse like crazy. The problem with adhering to what you've rehearsed, however, is the audience is a massive wild card. I was in Abu Dhabi speaking on a SERIOUS TOPIC to SERIOUS ADULTS but when I walked out on stage, there were tons of kids in the audience, kids who were about to perform in the conference finale. I could not stick with the thing I'd worked so hard to perfect, I had to address the kids. The entire conference was ABOUT intentional parenting and early childhood development. to perform what I'd prepared would have been to ignore my audience, something I just can't do as a writer or a performer. In the end, the serious people who so intimidated me with their academic papers and academic slides and academic cred gushed about my pivot and said, "I could never do that!" and thanked me for the pivot. So short answer, no. No notes. Make it look easy by working your ass off before the event.
Thank you so much for doing this, Jess!
My debut memoir is set to pub at the end of this year. I have three small children (including a baby), but I have about 15-20 hours/week of childcare to devote to planning for book launch/book promo. With limited (but focused) time, what would you funnel your energy into throughout the year?
I was in a similar situation at the end of law school. I had an infant and traded childcare with my friend who had three girls because we both needed part-time care. Could not have done it without her. It allowed me to become more focused and directed because if I had an hour of time, I had ONE HOUR of time. My mother would fly to town to take long walks with the baby so I could squeeze in whatever studying I could. Remember to be fully present with the work when you are working and be fully present as a parent when you are parenting. As for the launch/promo question, get focused on the high-reward targets and don't bother to waste time on the lower value ones. As Sarina likes to ask me, "what's your ROI (return on investment) for that time (or money)?" PR boxes may sound like a great idea in isolation (dump $ into launch), but unless they fall in the right hands (investment in relationships) they are useless. And even when they DO fall into the right hands, they are not a great way to spend your valuable time and money. Not knowing what you are releasing, I'm going to say book bloggers/influencers (if it's fiction) are important relationships to cultivate, as are booksellers. If nonfiction, booksellers and any orgs academically related to the topic. Sarina is the queen of promotion and marketing where fiction is concerned, so look for episodes on that. I will look for and link a few in reply to this comment. Congratulations on the tiny humans and the book and good luck!
https://amwriting.substack.com/p/flashback-friday-episode-71-building?utm_source=publication-search
https://amwriting.substack.com/p/the-top-five-free-ways-to-get-your?utm_source=publication-search
https://amwriting.substack.com/p/episode-205-how-to-create-marketingmojo?utm_source=publication-search
https://amwriting.substack.com/p/top-5-emails-to-send-during-your?utm_source=publication-search
A great one with Mary Laura Philpott: https://amwriting.substack.com/p/150-neverready-77e?utm_source=publication-search
This reply — and the links — are so generous! Thank you so much!!
How do you get past promotion fatigue? I know people need to see things 9 times until they are in the marketing funnel or whatever but while I like promoting myself, it does get old.
Have you tried Instagram ads? Worth it? Annoying?
In regard to taking an idea to a fleshed out story, the blueprint for success asks about the obstacles in the protagonist’s way. What if I only know her ultimate goal such as knowing her worth, and that she needs to revive a small town theater, for example.
How does one go about figuring out obstacles? I don’t know what is going to happen yet, so I feel like I have to do what the blueprint is trying to avoid in the first place: write until I see something form.
Hi Deanna, it's Jennie Nash. This is a good question, but it's not a simple one. It's a deep philosophical one about the creative process. What you are really asking is WHEN and HOW should I figure out these core elements about my story.? You have a protagonist who wants something. That's step 1. So YAY YOU!. And you KNOW that your protagonist NEEDS to have obstacles in her way to save this theater... otherwise, it's just a bunch of things that happen and that won't engage the reader. And what you are saying is that you want to write your way to the answers about the obstacles. You want to combine the writing and the strategic thinking about the story. -- to do two things at once. And the thing is that you certainly COULD do this. But odds are very good that it will take a ton of time and cost you a whole lot of agony. This is the exact situation the Blueprint is designed to help you avoid. So you can guess my answer: it's to dig in and figure out those obstacles!!! Figure out the story. Figure out what it is about this protagonist (her background, the environment, her character, the reasons that she doesn't know or believe her worth, the reasons she has things she needs to overcome to get what she wants.) Your story is CLAY right now and you get to PLAY -- to try things out, to see what connects. It's fun and it's hard and it's just TEN WEEKS (if you are doing our Challenge which I hope you are) -- which is WAY better than spending a year or more writing a whole manuscript that may or may not work. I hope that helps!
Thanks, Jennie!
And on that note, get yourself some accountability buddies. As I count all the things and people I'm grateful for this New Year's Eve, my core group of writing buddies - Jennie, KJ, Sarina and a few others who know who they are- are at the top of my gratitude list.
Thank you so much for clarifying! I feel like you’re saying it can happen! Okay then I look forward to the work ahead!
I have signed up for the challenge in the past but did not get started. Fingers crossed. Thank you!
Yes, yes, yes -- commit to doing it. The whole ten weeks. Commit to the work. It can absolutely happen. I can't wait to see what unfolds.
You’re the only one who can decide to give this a shot! This is what I like to say to people who are resisting an approach (and I am the QUEEN of resisters, I argue with everything)—is what you’re doing now working? Are you getting where you want to be, whether that’s a full draft or a lot of fun starts or a query-able project or whatever? If so, carry on! If not… maybe it’s time to commit to trying something different.
As I am not a fiction writer, I'm headed over to beg Sarina or Jennie or KJ to weigh in. Please hold.